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| PERSONAL BIBLIOGRAPHY REPRODUCTIONS--FIFTYFOUR |
CLICK TO RETURN TO PAGE 2 OF LIST OF PAPERS CLICK TO RETURN TO PAGE 1 OF LIST OF PAPERS CLICK TO RETURN TO PAGE 3 OF LIST OF PAPERS 56. KRULIK, GERALD,Ask Jerry: Conundrums Clarified for the Courteous Chlorophyllophile (Gardener) Part 6, PUP TALK (Saddleback Valley Bromeliad Society), 15(12), p. 7-8, December, 2008. ************************************************************** Dear Jerry I have friend who grows bromeliads. This friend is not an expert grower, but a so-so grower. Most of the plants are pretty common and ordinary. The plants hang on, sometimes flower, and occasionally look good. The majority of the plants look vaguely shopworn or even desperate, for better watering, light, and fertilizer. My problem is that when I visit, I feel bound to praise the plants that the friend so earnestly shows off. I don’t feel right about criticizing their care or appearance. Am I a hypocrite to tell my friend what a fine collection it is, and how nice the plants are? (signed) Trying to be nice Dear Wishy-Washy Don’t waste time worrying about this. A gardener is a rare person, to be cherished. Gardeners are better than non-gardeners, no matter what their skills. Remember that gardeners improve in skill, usually, with practice. The collection you are indifferent to now, and which may resemble the one you started with, may eventually be just like the one you now proudly show off. I cannot even recount all the plants I have killed in my career, as I became the phenomenally expert grower that I am today. So, give your friend a break and continue to say nice things. Who knows, if you say it the right way, and casually mention that your plant responded to better lighting, or this specific brand of fertilizer, you may slowly improve their skills too. Niceness is an art form too Jerry ************************************************************* Dear Jerry My husband and I both love plants. They are like our children. But his kids are delinquents, while mine are very well behaved. He uses plastic pots, often chipped and cracked. He lets the plants sprawl all over, doesn’t prune or train or discipline them. My plants are totally different. I use expensive ceramic pots. No plant is allowed to fall over or outgrow its tasteful setting. They are arranged in colorful, coordinated arrays. Most of them have their own personal names. How do I get my husband to change so we have a blended family I can be proud of? (signed) Severe disciplinarian Dear Classroom Monitor You probably will never be able to change your husband. Push him too hard and he might decide that gardening is not worth the effort, and may even come to resent your talents. So the best thing to do is set up a formal separation. Can you re-do your yard, to perhaps move his collection to the farthest point from the house? Put in a tall hedge or solid fence as a screen. Tell people that behind it is the compost heap or septic tank farm and you will not be embarrassed by anyone looking. Your husband may agree with this separation just to be free of any criticisms. But reward him too, and you may improve your marriage and your relationship with what you describe as your children. Put in a hammock, a refrigerator for his beer, and a portable tv. Let him be happy in his forest of delinquents. Been there, done that Jerry ****************************** Dear Jerry I have an acquaintance who seems to be winning a lot of prizes, far more than I. You may think that I am envious, and I am. However, I am convinced that she is not playing fair. This friend is an artist. Her plants are always super-shiny and extraordinarily colorful. Indeed, she exhibits hybrid plants which no-one has ever seen before. They are beautifully marked and colored, with normal flowers. I was convinced that they were silk or plastic, but I can see and feel that they are growing. The odd thing is that she will not part with any of her prized plants, not for money or trade, not even a cutting. I recently found out, quite by accident as I was peering through a hole in her back fence, that she airbrushes her plants! The shiny look seems to be acrylic glaze, not standard leaf shine as she claims. The patterns are airbrushed on, with water-based inks! What do you think of this? (signed) Unartistic and envious Dear Artistically Challenged, Do you think she would do private commission work? I have a whole lot of ideas I would love to try. Just for fun, of course. Hybridizing is so slow Jerry ******************************** |
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