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CLICK TO RETURN TO PAGE 2 OF LIST OF PAPERS CLICK TO RETURN TO PAGE 1 OF LIST OF PAPERS CLICK TO RETURN TO PAGE 3 OF LIST OF PAPERS 60. KRULIK, GERALD, Ask Jerry: Conundrums Clarified for the Courteous Chlorophyllophile (Gardener) Part 8, THE GOLDEN BROMELIAD, PUP TALK (Saddleback Valley Bromeliad Society), 16 (3), p. 5, March, 2009. ASK JERRY: THE GOLDEN BROMELIAD, BY JERRY KRULIK Dear Jerry I was visiting a, I am going to be vague here, a South American country. I spent a lot of time visiting local gardens and nurseries, and checking out the plants in the local markets. One day I was passing by some alleys near the hotel, when I noticed a man with an unusual bromeliad. He was holding it up to the light, and polishing it with a rag. Jerry, the most interesting thing about it was its color—it looked like pure gold in the sunlight! Of course I stopped and talked to the man. He wouldn’t let me handle the plant, but I could see that it appeared to be coated with gold dust. Now, I am a fairly good amateur geologist too, and I could plainly see that this was not just loose dust on the plant. The gold appeared to be imbedded in the plant leaves, sparkling like drops of fire as he twirled it. I persuaded him to have some drinks with me, and as he got drunk, he confided that he lived in a very remote region. He said that this was against the laws of his village, to take the plant away with him. He swore me to secrecy, and told me about the plant, after I bribed him with a fair tip. He said that his villagers planted this bromeliad in rocky areas in their remote region. Evidently this plant actually absorbs minute traces of gold from the rocks and soils, and deposits the gold in its tissues. The villagers gather up these plants after years of growth, and burn them to extract the gold! I casually mentioned to him that I might be interested in buying some of these plants. He thought about it for a long time, and then asked what I would pay. Well, I said that I would talk to a group of investors, who might be willing to make a deal for as many of these plants as he could secretly sell. Next month I plan to return, with a few large packets of money. I know this is real, because he gave me a small vial of tiny gold globules that he said were from the burned plants. Do you think that I can get the plants home with the right permit? I am thinking that there would be lots of money to be made with commercial plantations of this plant. It would be a green gold extraction process too, using no chemicals, so I would be helping save the environment. Virtuous environmental activist Dear Wool-Over-Your-Eyes Ah, the legend of the Golden Bromeliad of El Dorado. In the lost golden city of the Incas. Your missive sounds like it is straight out of an Indiana Jones episode. Put your own swindlers list here—the gold brick, the salted claim, the deed to the bridge, the ‘just happened to be where I could see it’ meeting, the appeal to secrecy, the reluctance to sell, and so on and so forth. I agree that the thought of thousands of acres of golden pineapple-like plants, patiently toiling away and making you rich with little effort, is appealing. But seriously, how about taking in a very knowledgeable partner who can help you properly evaluate this find? You would likely be better off by negotiating with the whole tribe of villagers for a fair licensing fee, and of course I could help with finding the necessary people who could be persuaded to sign the export documents. What country did you say it was from?? A disinterested but environmentally active consultant, Jerry |
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